In an article in The New York Times, an editorialist mentioned that we are all too tied to the buzzing and ringing of our many devices. The line she used was “We are always pushing buttons.” It gave me pause.

No one is communicating anymore. We push out instead of speak to. We hope for a connection. We e-mix mail with calls and text messages and browsing. We’re all doing something else when we should just be doing some talking. I guess we think we’ll get our point across…somehow.

Can you remember the last time you left the table and came back to find the person you were there with simply staring off deep in thought? They’re busy checking their e-mail or sending a text message to the person they would probably rather be sitting with.

It is crazy to think something will occur where we’ll find life reversed to a simpler time. So, what can we do to communicate with substance in a world with so many choices and distractions? Business people must rise up and take back subtlety.

1. Do yourself a favor and don’t prove yourself a bad speller. Especially with the Spelling Bee craze taking over pop culture. Spell check e-mails. Take some time and let the person on the other end know you have a brain, even if it’s working a mile a minute.

2. Turn your phone on “vibrate.” It’s less annoying. Leave the noise pollution to construction sites and traffic jams.

3. Get a silent keyboard for the PDA. See above.

4. During dinner, just sit there. Put down the device and pay attention to the person you’re with. Maybe we can get to know each other better. We’ve become a society addicted to escape; it has to stop.

5. Stop with your AOL address. E-mail from AOL doesn’t scream “We mean business!”

6. When you call someone on a VOIP [Internet] phone, remember these phones are not ready for prime time. You can’t have an overlapping casual conversation on a VOIP phone so if you are calling to, say, break up with someone use a landline.

7. If BlackBerrying while walking and you bump into someone, apologize. Here’s how it works: You say “I’m sorry” and explain you are truly self-important and are working on it.

8. If you get asked to answer a question in a full sentence, put everything down! Give undivided attention. It is an amazing way of showing someone you care about them. Respond after thought and in a complete, coherent sentence. You’ll see quick appreciation for this and you will have more success at getting your point across. You do have a point?

9. Stop using language you read in Fast Company. Buzz words and catch phrases say “I’m not sure what I’m talking about, but here are some cool words to make you feel like the idiot here.”

10. When an e-mail comes in that you want to respond to, either high-flag it or send back an answer. Now. Do whatever it takes to remember to write back or risk burning a bridge. People hate being snubbed as much with electric communication as with the in-person world.

11. When you discover someone is not listening to you, bust them. The more we tolerate poor communicative behavior the more people will continue.

12. Skipping town is no excuse to stop checking e-mail. If you still haven’t gotten a proper WAP-enabled mobile device, we will wait while you go to a local copy shop. Or pick up a laptop. You can get those little suckers for around 400 bucks.

13. Don’t answer your mobile “Hi Richard” because you know it’s me. Considering everyone has caller ID, it is no longer a novelty act. It is not only jarring and obnoxious, but also a terrible attempt at trying to get “hand,” as George Costanza said.

14. Stop making it all about you. (That’s my job.) The one you’re communicating with is smarter than you think. When you write someone and they see “Ah one way, he wants something from me,” they move on. Maybe try meaning it when you ask someone, “How are you?” When they reply, remember to listen. See number 11.

15. When e-mailing a friend or colleague, choose one topic and end it. People have trouble responding to more than one thought. E-mail is not a conversation tool. Think of it as a VCR that only plays tapes.

16. Everyone should do a conference call standing up! Plus, IM-ing is tremendously helpful for reminding folks they are due at a conference call or to tell someone their fly is open. But otherwise it’s something that gives us, ah you know, constant partial…What was I going on about? Oh—CPA. Constant Partial Attention.

17. Why send people things you want them to read? Chain letters and viral e-mails are irksome time wasters. If you think the heartbreaking tale of a village boy in Nigeria who needs just a thousand dollars to come to America to be with his family again is true…

18. DON’T MAKE IT TOUGH TO REACH YOU. Create a free e-mail account (I vote for Gmail) and make it public. If you’re really so important and busy, you should be thankful that anyone wants to know you.

19. Don’t respond to everything. It will drive you mad. (If you really want to upset someone then don’t respond after they say something nasty.)

20. Don’t look so obvious about trying to decide whether to continue with the human interaction in front of you or give myself over to the one dialing it in.

Here you need to review the first 20 above. I’ll wait.

21. If you want to reach someone, and you get nothing after lobbing an e-mail, doesn’t mean you’re snubbed. If you really want to reach someone, pick up the phone and hear: “Wow I didn’t get your mail.” E-mailing is not the final word.

22. Use the mute key. No one wants to hear you snort or chortle.

From the forthcoming book Punk Marketing (Collins, 2007) co-written with Mark Simmons, ad guru. Laermer is CEO + founder of RLM.