I believe Tom and Katie are in love. They are enamored with attention from the media and their adoring and curious public.

As I read in the news how this couple became engaged I feel like I’ve been granted the blessing (or curse) of X-Ray Vision, allowing me to see and acknowledge what is invisible to most. Or: Why are promotional set-ups like this still considered news?

In the last months every media outlet Googleable has covered the TomKat tale in ways that startle even worse cynics than me.

Let’s review:

The dynamic duo—Cruise and Holmes for you under that rock—each have movies arriving in multiplexes this month, much-hyped Hollywood spectacles that could net a billion or more. Tom’s ex, Nicole, has a bewitching release going head-to-head with his. And there’s the Cruise nemesis, Brad, who had the #1 movie in America and must have gotten Tom’s goat as he grabbed a ton of headlines for his alleged canoodling with movie siren Angelina Something-or-other.

With a ring on Katie’s hand the mainstream media point to “proof” that the relationship is real. But Hollywood scam marriages have been a steady business since Rock Hudson’s, and most recently the news was aflutter about the rings worn by Liza & David Gest.

In all this bizarreness, I was delighted when Bill Hemmer of CNN’s American Morning looked straight into the camera and clucked, “America, you’re so gullible,” as he reported sarcastically on the camera-ready shenanigans of Cruise and a love he could no longer contain. When Hemmer was axed a couple of weeks later I did the math and noted how Warner’s Batman Begins (Kat’s movie) was part of the same conglomerate as Hemmer’s.

Was I witnessing an Oliver Stone-worthy conspiracy?

Like the movie says—riddle me this: If Tom Cruise can visit Oprah and conclude he’s the happiest ever, what kind of downers must have been his previous lives with Nicole, Mimi, and Penelope Cruz (no relation), the latter tailor-made and short-lived for the stupendous fiasco Vanilla Sky? The ‘05 model Tom is so unfettering in his openness that I’m surprised no one has called a search party for the fiercely protective star of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

Asked and answered. Subtlety once worked for Tom Cruise. Since the turn of the century, however, the Cruise Movies have fared poorly with MTV’s Generation. You say, “What about Collateral?” Jamie Fox was bait. Cruise was in it. As celebrity observers are aware, our Tom takes no chances with his career. If being an unceasing, shameless and silly-seeming press hound is the way Brad is rakes it in, he’s learning from new masters.

In case someone thinks this isn’t calculated: To prepare for the media onslaught, Tom Cruise received the life achievement award from the WB’s big shindig, Broadcast Film Critics Association Awards, in addition to a strangely-enabling MTV Generation Award from the Grand Poobah of them all.

Cruise isn’t likely to win an Oscar for his acting. But TomKat is sure to carry the trophy if the fourth estate gives one for pushing the envelope in a public falling in love.

Now who is the real victim? I kind of feel bad for Chris Klein, that the b-list star Katie dumped a couple of seconds before the international media got the alert: There’s a new Hollywood couple gunning for room on the front page.

Richard Laermer is the co-host of the reality program, Taking Care of Business, on TLC, the author of Full Frontal PR and CEO of RLM PR. He’s not in love with Katie Holmes.