My first job in PR (at the Honolulu Academy of Arts) started in 1986. I’ve worked for large PR and advertising agencies, corporations, and now a mid-sized PR firm. I’ve had male and female bosses. I didn’t plan from infancy to work in PR; it was a natural fit when I joined the workforce, and I love it for a bunch of reasons.

After years of varying levels of frustration, however, I understand now that the glass ceiling is a reality in PR. Don’t’ get me wrong; in many ways, I welcome the challenges. I have a position now that utilizes my hard-won skills and allows me to build new ones. I am appreciated and valued and encouraged at every turn. Getting to this point, though, hasn’t been a cakewalk!

As those who know me will attest, I’m not a whiner. Like ever. There are simply differences between men and women that make for some head-banging (on the aforementioned glass ceiling) for women who choose to climb the PR professional ladder.

The Value of Competition
For boys, competition, whether academic or athletic, is blood sport. If someone messed with you , simply destroy them. Climb over anyone in your path to get where you want to go. This is no secret; boys (and men) are open about their drive to foster and participate in competitive situations. That’s what they were taught.

Girls—and the women they become—really aren’t any less competitive. Thing is, the females hide it. We backstab. We cheat. We gossip. I have seen female colleagues deride and belittle those who could help them and from whom they could learn. They’re afraid of being labeled Bitch if they are openly competitive, and as a result the men around them think they’re either pushovers or incapable of having the drive “it” takes.

Respect—No Need to Sing
Men in positions of power don’t want respect; they command it. They don’t make open demands, and yet their manner is such that those around them give them the respect they deserve.

Women often have an annoying habit of reciting their credentials at every turn, expecting that is somehow a viable road to R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Years ago I worked with a leggy blonde who liked to tell everyone she went to Yale. Thing is, she was smart and had strong client experience, but her constant repetition of her academic CV made it sound like that was all she had. Besides the legs. And the mane.

The Art of Self-Promotion
When men do something noteworthy they make a note and send it out to everyone. Women on the other hand assume that their achievements will somehow be recognized and rewarded. News flash for chicks: In most environments nobody notices a thing that isn’t right in front of them. You can work real hard and do some great things but if you do not learn the less-than-subtle art of self-promotion, you’re not going to get far.

And about that dollar… As a general rule men ask for raises a lot and women (again) assume that their hard work will be recognized and rewarded (didn’t I just say that?) and that is not the case in most companies. Hence the male-female salary gap that generates so much press attention during slow news seasons. Unfortunately, lately I’ve seen a troubling trend that I must share: Women demanding much more salary than they’re worth! It’s like they read the articles and say to themselves “Well, I’m not going to get paid less than my male colleagues—even those with 10 years more experience who knows so much more than me!” To them I plea, Cut it out. I don’t want to be part of that group.

You Lead, I’ll Follow
Women are better followers than leaders (thanks for illustrating my point, Carly). Our leadership skills are less elegant than a man’s. There are some cool contradictions to this point, skilled women in PR who started and lead their own agencies. My hat’s off to them every day.

I suffer from the same affliction as many women in management roles: We think we’re better leaders than those above and beneath us on the org chart do. This troubles me almost daily as I struggle against the desire to have everything done right, and therefore do it myself. Ask anyone around me: I don’t delegate well. But for the record, I swear I’m working on this.

The Style of PR
Everyone I have worked with in PR (and advertising) has their own personal style. “Duh.” Men and women generally share some similar characteristics of work style that lend themselves to advancement—or not advancing. It is expected that women are tougher. Uh huh, you read that right. When a woman gets to a management level it is assumed that she got there because she’s “tough,” a subjective term normally synonymous with that word Bitch again.

A truism is that women who succeed in PR are demanding. They have high standards. They insist that everyone above and below them exceed their potential. This attitude does not lend itself to rapid promotion. Another oops.

So then is all lost for the legions of X-chromosome laden PR pros? Nah, we just have to be smarter and savvier than and at least as hard-working as our male type colleagues to achieve same level of success. Dumb men go further faster. Hey. I love a challenge.

Mitchell is Group Director at RLM, where she is every day because she wants an environment where the ceilings are white—not clear.