I think Michael Moore is a good filmmaker—loved The Big One—but I’m not joining everyone in calling him a great patriot. He’s another storyteller who wants to cash in, delving into his own psyche to create entertainment that many are calling journalism (Fahrenheit 9/11). As someone who reads more news than he cares to admit, I see Moore’s brand of “out there” scripting doing more damage than good in this crucial election year. As a veteran PR guy, I give you the following facts in no uncertain order:

1. Moore fibbed about Disney’s about-face; the whole “they screwed me” anthem was nonsense. Truth: Disney said from the start theirs was a finance deal—they’re no dummies—and not a distribution one. But everyone got what he or she wanted from the hullabaloo. Moore admitted to the press after his tale of woe hit The New York Times that it was “a publicity stunt,” and still no retractions surfaced. Everyone talked about how controversial the film is…when in reality it’s another I Hate George W Bush opus, of which there are many (see www.moveon.org or www.bushin30seconds.org). Controversy sells. How new huh.

2. After Moore told The Times it was a ploy they ran a follow-up berating Disney and then, uncannily, an Op-Ed stating that Disney should be ashamed of their “actions.” In doing so, they fanned the flames of people who want Kerry to lose. Is this helping the cause?

3. The Times won’t stop chastising Disney. It has made light of Disney’s recent movie choices in the Sunday Business section—saying they should have distributed Moore’s film “instead.”

4. Moore got a lot of coverage for winning the Palme D’Or at Cannes, but the judges were all American Demos or French who hate George Bush. Talk about a jaded crowd.

5. Everything in the movie concerning Bush and Osama and the Saudis was in the first 25 pages of Moore’s ‘03 book, Dude, Where’s My Country. Yet now Dateline is doing pieces on Osama/Saudi/Bush connection as though this is spanking new.

6. Doesn’t Stone Phillips read?

7. Moore claims he brought a lot to light. Everything in the movie has been reported, though. Am I the only one who reads The New Republic? (Wait a minute… scratch that.)

8. Indeed, almost everyone who’s flocked to Fahrenheit is a card-carrying Democrat like me; so exactly how does this help the Democrats win in November? Dems got Kerry. If Moore had made an honest documentary [e.g., 1972’s Hearts and Minds) and shown two sides, pro-Bushies would see it. Now that’s a horse race I’d watch with gusto.

9. Propaganda is propaganda is propaganda. Why whip things up anymore? Kerry said it well in his big speech: Let’s be optimists, not opponents. It’s a sound bite for the ages, even schmaltzy enough to make it into the New York Post. (I thought.)

10. The movie that Disney released this summer was, in fact, pure Americana—American Hearts and Souls, an extremely patriotic peek at people in the heartlands doing their work every day. It’s pretty good, even touching. Yet no one in the leftish press wants to say so, opting instead to yammer on about Eisner rushing it out to compete with the message of Fahrenheit 9/11. Gee, if American Hearts had arrived within a year of 9/11/01, it would be a mandatory view; that or we’d be called Bill Maher!

11. Disney simply can’t catch a break. Sure Disney sanitizes the world. Is this not what Walt wanted, though: movies that are pro-American? (While you can argue F 9/11 is pro-American, it is negative.) If you think about it, Disney keeps the message clear and un-tampered-with. Disney gets PR!

12. On TV I watched Moore act all demure and sweet at the premiere. Is that Michael Moore—or last minute media training? Excuse me, but the guy’s an oddly dressed freak. Not the best spokesperson for the squeaky clean Democrats in 2004.

13. Then he said he didn’t do Fahrenheit for money. Like Halle Berry did Catwoman for the art! The ironies won’t quit.

14. Finally, Moore should apologize to sci-fi writer Ray Bradbury for stealing the title of Bradbury’s classic short story. The writer is really angry (as opposed to Moore’s faux and often-exaggerated emotions). No reporter covered this theft the way no reporter has said Fahrenheit 9/11 doesn’t pass muster as a documentary. If I were a non-fiction filmmaker I’d be peeved that a story like Moore’s is being touted as “the only documentary to make 100 million smackers at the box office.” It is a hype campaign gone awry. And I have nothing against hype…

I like it straight-up, though, and not mixed with manure.

RLM CEO Laermer is the co-host of the new series Taking Care Of Business, premiering on TLC October 16 at 10 PM, and the author of the new paperback Full Frontal PR. He loves the John Squared team—but says Just Vote already.