Full Frontal PR Report
Tori Pugliese

Editor’s note: Continuing our theme of reaching audiences crucial to PR folks and all marketers, in this issue RLM’s own Tori Pugliese gives us insight into what young women are looking for—which is not always Average.

What women want is a much-debated question in various media outlets that always finds a way to be answered in a politically correct way. Paramount made a movie about it, books have been criticized for it, shows have been scripted by it, and reality TV has based hours of prime time on it too (I chose to put reality TV in an entirely different category, because it has managed to infect every sector of cable). That is the simple question Mel Gibson once asked: “What Do Women Want?”

Though I can’t speak for every woman, I can speak for a large majority when I say we want more than just average. We’ve grown up under the assumption that we should want more and expect more than just the typical. That we will somehow escape ordinary suburban or city clichés and will experience a little bit of extraordinary.

Then again, what’s so bad about being average? NBC seems to think being average makes you unattractive, physically inadequate, and an all-around “dork.” Average Joe recently finished a second season of putting an attractive woman in her place by making her chose between soap opera hunks and bottom-of-the-barrel “average” men. Just who is laughing in all of this? Everyone comes out looking like an even bigger stooge then before they signed up.

To women, average guy generalizations mean different things. Women living in New York might view average as negative, while women in suburban Connecticut think average is positive.

Catherine McLean, a project manager for a small technology company in Connecticut, said to me: “The show, Average Joe, is not what most women consider to be average. We tend to think that a regular guy will carry on conversations, have a decent sense of humor, carry a bit of confidence, and isn’t looking to conquer the world—just make small dents in it, and then enjoy a beer when he’s done.”

But average assumptions are different in context. For instance, Kelly Wester, our brilliant Account Manager at RLM (and Manhattan citizen) explained: “What’s average to someone in New York may be a bit extreme to someone in a different part of the country. I consider my boyfriend to be a regular guy; he likes sports, works hard, and likes to spend time with ‘the guys.’ But at the same time, he works on Wall Street, and going out with friends regularly might mean dropping a hefty load of money on drinks and a steak dinner.”

Women at different stages in their lives and in different environments all agree, however, that average—seen as either a positive or negative characteristic—is simply a bad way to frame people. It is just too difficult to put a label on men when they each have different attributes. Most women, however, look for someone confident and respectful, a man who is happy with his place in life but still wants to go further.

Movies always try to convey a “regular guy.” Whether it is Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle or Tom Cruise in Cocktail, please let’s not forget that these men are actors portraying fictitious men. That they seem so romantic and terrific is because their flaws have already been deleted or edited. They might make a mistake to create a dramatic moment, but at the end of the day these regular guys always become heroes. Average dudes on the silver screen are not really average—come on! They are entertainment vehicles that allow us to willingly suspend our disbelief.

The person going home from that movie set each day is followed by paparazzi and will pull up to a million dollar house and be welcomed by women like Jennifer Aniston, while calling his ol’ buddy Steven Spielberg about having drinks that night.

Lindsay Davies, a middle school teacher in Bridgeport, CT, put it well: “Men are even more stereotyped than women; it makes it easy for women to categorize men. When I think of someone average I picture someone like my boyfriend—down to earth, ambitious, and doesn’t always agree with everything I say. Conflict makes things more interesting. But my idea of average may be someone else’s idea of Mr. Fabulous.”

The society and trends that surround you help define your life, and we often apply these same measures when generalizing people. Whether you are in a big city or small suburb, categorizing people is difficult, if not impossible.

As for what the fairer sex want, perhaps it’s something no one can answer. None of us ever seem to have the same expectations or interpretations. Heck, we’re women!