Kathy Flanigan

There are 87 pictures of party-girl Paris Hilton at www.drunkcelebs.co.uk.

Eighty-seven. Each one more revealing than the other.

Of course, none of them bare as much as the home video of the celebutante having sex with Shannen Doherty’s ex, Rick Solomon – they say she stops to answer her cell phone, but that’s a different story.

This one is about exposure – how much is too much? We don’t know Paris’ middle name, but it’s a safe bet that a majority could identify her thanks to her penchant for cheeky low-riding Frankie B. jeans.

This hunger for prurient details is a symptom of mediocre times, said Richard Laermer, who has written a book on public relations called “Full Frontal PR.”

“I thought the 11th of September was really going to change all that,” he said.

If anything, the bar is lower still.

Laermer, whose job is public relations, figures that if Fox didn’t leak the Hilton video (that’s his cynical side talking), they’re wisely making the best of the hoopla to help hype Hilton’s television show “The Simple Life,” which airs on the network. Any publicity is good publicity, even though this kind of overexposure forced Hilton to cancel an appearance with David Letterman.

Two weeks after that, however, she was back to business as usual – posing on the party scene, including the Billboard Music Awards, and appearing in an episode of television’s “Las Vegas” to be shown Feb. 2.

Gena Lee Nolin must be breathing a sigh of relief as she watches Paris burn hotter than ever.

Remember her? Nolin was Pamela Anderson’s replacement babe on “Baywatch.” Recently, the New York Daily News claimed knowledge of a similar Internet tape with Nolin and her first husband, Greg Fahlman, headed for public consumption. Translation: Her career is about to zenith.

Funny enough, a similar taped encounter was captured between Pamela Anderson and then husband, Tommy Lee, on their honeymoon. It didn’t hurt her career, and it’s made Lee something of a legend.

If there’s a market for this stuff, then consumers are setting the agenda. Will we ever learn to say “enough?”

Probably not. Last week’s standard celebrity magazines – Us, People and In Touch – featured Britney Spears on the cover hoping to whet the public appetite for details while assuring us that the pop tart did not marry the Jason Alexander who starred in “Seinfeld,” but, rather, a high school buddy named Jason Alexander.

In Touch says they’ll tell you “Why She Did It – Just a Joke Or Was It All About Justin.” People asks “Is She Over the Edge?” and Us exclaims: “Britney: Out of Control.”

“Britney’s quickie wedding was very much about people saying ‘How can we keep this person in the news when her album’s not doing so well,’” said Laermer. “Nothing, nothing is a coincidence.”

Elayne Rapping teaches a class on the culture of celebrity at the State University at Buffalo in New York. The current state of the culture erupted in 1975 with the debut of People magazine.

“That was the first place where they actually did tell you these things. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but delved into celebrities’ private lives and they mixed it in with regular people so you had this feeling that celebrities are our friends and you know them as friends.”

Show of hands on how many have seen their friends’ bedroom videos? Thought so.

“If people do something scandalous it doesn’t hurt their careers,” Rapping said. “It’s the kind of titillating information that puts you in the public eye. Even, what’s her name, Monica Lewinsky, she’s profited from that. I can’t think of anything sleazier than that whole episode. She’s still like a celebrity and she’s nobody. All she ever did was seduce a president.”

Think about what passes for news these days: a steady diet of Ben and Jen; strangers who meet on television and decide to get married like Trista and Ryan and then do get married – on television; a talk show reunion between Nicole Richie and her biological father (a musician but not Lionel Richie, the man she’s called “Dad” all her life).

Knowing these things provides a kind of currency for small talk or cocktail party chatter. Haven’t seen a new movie or read a new book? Talk about culture via celebrity magazine filler. Here’s a tip now: People, Us and In Touch want you to know Tara Reid has a new boyfriend, this one energy-company president Wayne M. Boich, and the couple spent time recently in Miami and the Bahamas.

Now quick, name Reid’s most recent movie.

It’s easy to see who is a celebrity, but not so easy to figure out why.

“We’re not an anti-war country. We’re not conservationists. We stand for pop culture. Our antenna is all about the stars,” Laermer said. “It’s almost pathetic.”

Laermer credits or blames, depending on how you look at it, media planners for plotting the rise of their personal celebrities.

“It’s strategy. It’s all strategy,” said Laermer. “This has all been plotted just like the studio star system.”

The current rising star, singer Jessica Simpson, who shares “Newlyweds” billing with husband, Nick Lachey, is doing it right, according to Laermer.

“Jessica Simpson is a very very very very good example of marketing,” he said.

It started with MTV planning a politically incorrect series that presented a couple with the man firmly in charge, a throwback to the 1950s.

“She is a very smart woman. She’s the Gracie Allen of her generation. She’s totally and utterly and absolutely what MTV needed to break away from their other reality series.”

She’s also all over People, Us and In Touch. The difference is that Britney is on the cusp of burnout, said Laermer. Simpson, whose handlers keep a tight rein on her image, is shooting toward a well-thought out mega-career.

Rapping suggests that the public’s voracious need to know the tiniest details about a celebrity is due in part to the fact that we seem to be getting less interesting ourselves.

“I notice it with my students that people don’t have serious conversations any more about serious issues. People used to talk about more interesting things. People are not interested in being introspective any more.

Add to that the popularity of reality television – which can turn your neighbor into a celebrity in a finger snap. “I just don’t get it. They’re just people who are nobody and then they become celebrities . . . Everybody talks about these things.”

None of this makes a difference to the quality of consumers lives and yet, they’ll read or watch almost anything. Go figure.

“Because there’s no alternative,” said Laermer.

He bemoans the fact George magazine might have made politics into a pop culture entree, but didn’t get a chance.

“If you’re only offered oatmeal, that’s all you’re going to eat,” he said. “We joke in our office that the best magazine in the world would be a magazine called Obituary – what they contributed to the world.”

Interesting thought: Reading about people’s achievements instead of their disgraces. Think it would sell?

If it would, Laermer would already be on it.

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