Full Frontal PR Report
Kevin Mercuri, Account Manager

Conduct an online search for Public Relations pointers and you’ll soon be overwhelmed with suggestions on what to do to ensure success. A few PR professionals are generous enough to provide us with their real-life experience, while others simply spew the same tired points we read in our PR textbooks. Everyone has a path to success.

Yet, failure is always an option.

Every day, mediocre PR practitioners successfully torpedo their most compelling stories by dint of laziness and sheer stupidity. Reporters across the country continue to be amazed at the ineptitude of many flacks who achieve notoriety through the mishandling of some of the most basic of PR tenets.

For the benefit of our readers, the Full Frontal PR Report lists the seven habits of ineffective flacks:

• Always feel free to pitch your story to any reporter you choose, regardless of their beat. For example, technology reporters are always looking to write a story on the latest romance book or consumer packaged good.
• Reporters at daily newspapers are never pressed for time and welcome your phone calls, especially around 4:00 p.m. when they’re rushing to make deadlines. Reporters at weekly publications are most willing to talk on Thursdays, when their own story deadlines loom.
• Pitches are best sent via email. The main point of the story should be buried within long, arduous text to ensure that the reporter takes the time to read it in its entirety.
• Once a reporter receives an e-mail pitch, your job is done. Do not waste time performing follow-up via telephone or e-mail.
• If you want to ensure failure, send your pitch when every other flack does. Reporters routinely receive hundreds of pitches over the weekend; your pitch should be waiting in the reporter’s in-box first thing Monday morning to ensure that it gets lost in the clutter.
• Be sure to always send reporters the latest worthless gadget or gizmo. Reporters take an almost deviant pleasure in throwing your dust collecting item directly into the trash.
• When writing press releases, be sure to include numerous buzz words of nebulous meaning. Using terms such as “best of breed”, “industry leader” and “cutting edge technology” ensures that reporters will flock to your story faster than the latest Michael Jackson revelation.

Finally, remember that ignominy is fleeting. Follow the above advice and reporters will soon forget about you. Be sure to maintain a constant stream of PR blunders to ensure that reporters always know it’s you before picking up the phone or opening an e-mail or package.

Being ineffective takes a tremendous effort, while doing the job right requires less stress. Yet, the payout towards ineffectiveness is far greater as you will soon be searching for new employment.

Call us with you new career details and we’ll be sure to tell you how to handle the mess-ups there.